Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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