I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
