I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My vagina is officially offended.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
