Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
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If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
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It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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