Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
