We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
