Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
