i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
