You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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