windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
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Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
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I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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