i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
