Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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