It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
