i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
