garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize
