it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
