Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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