brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
