Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
