Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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