Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
