Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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