Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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