Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
