I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
