her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
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