I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
How naked do you want me to be?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
