so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
ttyl tear gas
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
