No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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