i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Im part way to drunk.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
