There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
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was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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