if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize