Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
