is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
should my penis look like a turkey
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
