About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
