He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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