i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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