She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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