Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
false alarm, still single
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
