So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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