"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
