I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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