found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
