i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
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