mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It's official drugs can't kill me
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
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