that's an acceptable place to lick
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
