the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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