you would pick up someone in the library
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
