jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
