Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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