everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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