last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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