im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
