Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
two words: eviction party
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
