Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
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