I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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