i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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