I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
