just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
