Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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