Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
