after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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