Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize