if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize