i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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