Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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